La La Lah

 

Today I have stopped drinking coffee
mostly because of how it mocks me
making me think of you-
back talking
living as if being renewed
I walk in feeling sober
in the afternoon
wandering like an f double o
like you knew
like you knew I wouldn't dare
to leave you yeah like cigarettes,
cigars, or cannabis perfumes.

I need to listen to what God is saying
this early in the evening with the sunset
fading out of yellow hatred sitting on a
pink horizon.

My eyes tell me what I am right?
So why can't I comprehend what I
feel like?

As if the only real me is in day light
out of all these midnight fading star signs
and the gossip of how I act like.

So I leave this coffee with my heart fighting
hard about what I want in real life.

I sober my emotions when I hold your hand tight.

I feel on my own whether that you hear my
soul speaking on its own
like...
                -V I L L A N U E V A

08.18.21

Lucida Console, Regular, 10.

 

I wrote her my love poems for years
often in the rainy days inside
often with my consciousness
spilling to the walls
with black ink
running down into the sewers
becoming nothing but another dream
where you and I were heard drowning
as if at last becoming a masterpiece
like a concerto of free thought
cascading into singular ballets of lines
falling more like an improv of jazz
and the lyrics melting into drunken proverbs
neither of us are old enough to understand
like poetry that follows a single emotion
never changing to the next euphoria but always
just bland and boring rants of speech just like
a dictators lonely dream preceding onto a century
of dead wastelands and no religion and just that
human greed that washes over all the morals of
sensibility becoming eventually nothing special
like an eulogy spoken in free prose lowering all
these shakespearen connotations deeper into the
ground and engulfed by soil filling a casket of
weak bones whom never tried to test the limbs or
nerves being too nervous just to dance in weddings
only showing up briefly for that fifteen second kiss
of a female to a male or male onto a female becoming
the inevitable continuum of a species that know of God.
                -V I L L A N U E V A
08.10.21

dead petals

 

I thaw my heart with cinders
not even with the glowing
evaporating embers.

After years I let the air
cool me.

The smoke you notice 

is what I wanted to say,
left burning.

We were nothing more than
strangers
endangered like bees
that make honey.

All I wanted was to see you happy,
dancing your butterfly-like wings

moving my laughter
from one flower to another.

I didn't want to be here
to see dead petals.
                -V I L L A N U E V A
08.10.21

The Fog

 

Through out we are lost
wanderers driving through the fog
with mist obscuring our thoughts.

Through and through we are lost
heading onto false ideas
leading always nowhere special.

The devil is such a trickster
always standing by a road
telling us where to go.

He points us to and fro
tempting with our ego.

Yet.

What we never know
is how much the devil works
to keep us in our sense
living with a nonchalance.

Everyday is in God's will
repeating like the rain and day
and night.


Life is such a hoax
of a human perplexed on money, hate --
the pain.

There is no stopping what must end.

There is only you and me
living in God's domain.
                -V I L L A N U E V A
08.07.21

at closing

 

all my life ive been stepping on thorns
and you tell me that I shouldn't be
letting that now bother me?

I cant help be a victim
in the world I live in
and the demons that attack me.

I would have found God much earlier,
but his will according to my life
has brought me into ruins.

I walked through them blindly,
in faith, through the dark
    without headlights
or seeing about ends
and struggles.

All I am is a farmer knowing of love
bearing all my fruit,
and giving whatever that grows.

Today I have spent all my love on you,
through patience, enduring suffering--
I apologize for looking down and gloom,
I am tired now at closing.
                -V I L L A N U E V A
08.02.21

my love steaming from the hot coals

 

If I had any rivals
in my life
it would be the unloving.

The quick heart hardened.

The slow to do better
humble in their talking.

If I had any reason
to not be here
another single day

it would be the suffers
to tolerate the unloving--

their constant back talking,
the criticism to be
somebody.

To the ones that mask their ego,
that speak falsely onto strangers
and different to those that
know them.

To the ones that fake their laughter
and act different onto public.

To the slow to be expressive,
reserving first judgment to the artists.

I know them well
by the way I see their eyes.

Somehow anger burns brightly
when love is clearly tempered.

Somehow I have grown up tired
having nothing to do with guessing
wondering if they love me,
like I love them.

All I do now is walk on hot coals
stepping into the world
and the people in them.
                -V I L L A N U E V A
08.02.21

Geysers

 

I pass people like I pass signs
telling me to go on
or stop.

Their love is clear
in the way they have it painted
appearing onto street colors.


I walk around the adults
speaking as if flared up
awaiting to erupt.


All life has been in learning
dancing around hot springs,
the geysers.

I love the music, swaying,
my emotions calmly.

All I feel is the beat of love in rhythm
speaking to me, like prophetic warnings.

I pass by the people imploding
sometimes dormant in forbearance
but always known foreshadowed.

Long ago I left such hatred
becoming more onto rivers.

I flow into the oceans,
I go deeper into myself and nothing.

                -V I L L A N U E V A
08.02.21